I have heard the phrase, “I am a contemplative” uttered by many devout Catholics who are genuinely interested and participating in the life of prayer. There are good reasons for this expression. They can represent positive sentiments like these:
- I value prayer and give a good deal of time to it.
- I want to be identified with a strong commitment to prayer.
- I appreciate Carmelite spirituality and am or desire to be a part of it.
These positive reasons aside, there a number of problematic elements in this expression worthy of reflection.
Authentic Understanding of Contemplative Prayer
Though I have no doubt that these good reasons exist in every soul I have heard or seen use the phrase, “I am a contemplative,” I have never encountered one instance where, after asking a few questions, I failed to discover significant misunderstandings regarding authentic contemplative prayer.
The most common belief held by those who say, “I am a contemplative” is that contemplation is something we can do. In response to a recent social media claim, I gently and respectfully asked, “What is contemplation?” The answer followed a universal pattern. The good person responded with all the things they do in prayer.
A good student of spiritual theology knows that any definition of contemplation that begins with an emphasis on the action of man is a definition that is completely backward even if it contains some truth. The contemplative state is not one that we can do or achieve by some action or method – it is a work of God for which we can only prepare.
These good folks often make this serious error, and another offspring of it, “I do contemplative prayer” or “I practice contemplative prayer.” Of course, this understanding is as problematic as its parent because one cannot do what only God can provide to the soul.
As an aside, here is a sound definition of contemplation:
An infused supernatural gift, that originates completely outside of our will or ability, by which a person becomes freely absorbed in God producing a real awareness, desire, and love for Him. This often gentle or delightful and sometimes non-sensible encounter can yield special insights into things of the spirit and results in a deeper and tangible desire and ability to love God and neighbor in thought, word, and deed. It is important to note that infused contemplation is a state that can be prepared for, but cannot in any way be produced by the will or desire of a person through methods or ascetical practices.
The Problem of Pride and Humility
To enter into a substantive prayer life, one must begin on the path of humility. Notice I said, “begin.” St. Teresa of Avila notes in her Interior Castle, that authentic self-knowledge and humility are the beginning foundations of a substantive prayer life. They are not something acquired later but must be present to the beginner in some substantive measure before they can venture more deeply into the Castle.
To be a contemplative or a mystic one must be in the Illuminative state or beyond. This means they will usually have spent a number of years, even decades, wrestling against and winning the battle (by God’s grace and their effort) over habitual sin and even imperfections. It means they will have ventured through the dark valley of the spiritual purgation of the nights. It usually means they spend an hour or more a day in prayer and are deeply committed to frequent sacramental participation. It means they are living a life of profound sanctity. These folks are heading for, into or living in, the domain of the saints.
As of yet, I have never encountered a saint or anyone close to being a saint, living or dead, who proclaims “I am a saint” or I am a mystic” or “I am a contemplative.” Instead, what you hear out of the mouths of authentically holy men and women of God is, “I am a sinner” or “I am a worm” as St. Teresa was often heard to say. Yes, she acknowledged the unfathomable beauty of a soul in a state of grace. However, she also knew the dark capacity of her own soul and that of every person. She also understood the danger of spiritual pride. Thus she generally avoided attributing any direct expression of her own experiences with God and never drifted into claims of being a saint or a mystic.
Thus, proclaiming “I am a contemplative” can be a profoundly prideful and theologically problematic statement that should never be uttered by one who seeks the life of authentic prayer or one who is a part of Apostoli Viae.
Yes, we do say that we seek to “live the contemplative life.” However, living the contemplative life means that we recognize our desperate need for God and union with Him. We thereby commit to giving ourselves to a life of prayer, penance, sacrifice, and service to God and those He has placed in our care. This is the path to contemplation, but God is the one who decides whether or not we cross that bridge, how often, and how deeply. Regardless, it is a good life that properly lived, leads one to proclaim, along with the publican, “God have mercy on me a sinner!”
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